To dirty ovens...

Dear future Amanda,

You tried to use oven cleaner one other time before today. It was when you were cleaning your first apartment, remember? Even though you and your summer roommate followed the instructions, the oven looked dirtier than it did before. Then you didn't get most of your deposit back from the landlord despite the fact that the rest of the apartment looked awesome.

Today you thought you would give it a second try. Forgiveness may be divine, but this does not necessarily apply to harsh cleaning products. Again, you read the directions through several times and followed them. This time, the fumes totally made you cough like crazy, even though you held your breath and were well away from the oven when you came up for air. Then, to add insult to injury, the crap didn't even work (despite all the scrubbing you did with your little mask on).

Please do not repeat this mistake again. The house smells bad despite the fans, and now you are super grumpy. Grumpy enough to write a reminder to yourself. Just use the self-cleaning option to burn off the big chunks and then enjoy your dirty oven. In the wise words of Michael Scott, "You know what they say? Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice, strike three."

Love,
Amanda